How many times you caught yourself thinking: “We have been married for years, and I am so sick of arguing about the same thing!!!” Chances are, you have been arguing about “the same thing” more than once or twice. It is almost inevitable to have an issue in a relationship which is the focal point of occasional discontent. Continue reading
After quite a few years of working as a psychotherapist and specializing in couples therapy and marriage counseling, intimacy and relationships, I came to notice a peculiar thing. I developed an intuitive gut reaction that would usually inform me of the reason the person in front of me is not in a happy loving relationship. Even more peculiar finding was that these causes of extended singlehood are usually the same. We could compile a rather short list of reasons why people who would (hypothetically) like to be in a relationship are not. Here we will talk about one of these challenges on the path toward the happily ever after. Allow me to start with an example. Continue reading
Infidelity and sexual indiscretions have been in the news throughout this political season. The focus of the broadcasting lens is usually on the abuse of power by political candidates to obtain sexual favors. The story that remains frequently untold is the story of the monogamous relationships exclusivity of which has been violated by the affairs. Many times we tend to view the spouse as been betrayed and Continue reading
The Occupy Wall Street movement has been gaining momentum and bridging the political and cultural gaps between the people. The nation seems to find its voice and the key statement is “Power to the People.” The Wall Street movement is a movement to restore social justice and the basic principles of democracy. The most pure and basic idea of democracy is that the government represents the people and governments decisions are executed to support the collective good of the people.
Interestingly enough, couples counseling has the same agenda of Continue reading
I wonder if anyone enjoys cocktail parties, because for me somehow most of the time it feels like work. You attend an event with a mass of well-dressed strangers and pretend that you know at least some of them, attempting to actually get to know a few to make the pretending easier. I do have a tactical advantage though. It comes into play when I am asked what I do for living. My usual reply is “I am a psychologist.” The responses I get range from excited curiosity to a panic attack. My curious friends tend to ask what I specialize in and hearing that in my Beverly Hills and Valencia clinics I focus on couples counseling gets them even more interested. Those who get anxious are usually concerned with me reading their mind.
It seems that even a hundred years after Sigmund Freud we still are unsure what psychotherapist does Continue reading
I was driving from the beautiful and luxurious Beverly Hills to quiet and quaint Valencia as the iPhone rang my favorite tune, alerting me of a call. It was a potential client. The client was interested in coming in for marriage counseling and wanted to better understand what marriage counseling and couples counseling entail. I had to shift gears from a leisurely cruising on California highway to my alert and focused psychotherapist mode. Continue reading
Working as a psychologist and psychotherapist in Beverly Hills and Valencia, conducting marriage counseling and couples counseling with couples of all configurations and backgrounds proved to be a transformative experience for me. It truly helped me realize the many things we have in common. One of these things is the importance of appreciation and self appreciation in our relationships.
Let me share with you my personal caveat regarding appreciation. I come from a culture, no names mentioned, that Continue reading
As a psychologist, the key thing I learned is that we as individuals do not and cannot exist in a social vacuum. From the very first day of our life we discover ourselves and the world around us through continuous relationships with the people around us. Although we are born with a human body, our psyche at the time of birth presents an infinite potentiality. During infancy our inner self is shaped into a human form by our interaction with other human beings that take care of us. After all, once a human baby is introduced into a non-human family, such as a wolf pack, for example, the psyche of this child will take shape of a wolf. Human relationships are a vital part of us becoming human.
Social interconnectedness and interpersonal relationships is a basic human need. Our social relationships change shape as we progress through our lives. In time the new kind of relationships emerge – intimate relationships. Continue reading
Have you ever found yourself in the midst of an argument with your partner, without having a clear idea where the argument started, why, and what are you arguing about? I surely did, and I bet the “deer in the headlights” look on my face gave away my discombobulation.Not only did I find myself in this predicament, but also I heard many similar stories from my couples counseling practice clients in Beverly Hills and Valencia.
This wide-eyed “deer in the headlights” stare usually does very little to improve our situation and if anything, Continue reading
We wrapped up Part I of this article with the key question: Why is it important to love yourself in order to be able to love someone else? Beverly Hills and Valencia Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling would like to offer several thoughts on this matter:
Psychotherapist Point 1: You are emotionally grounded and resilient.
We live in a high speed, high contrast world. An ocean of people, real or virtual, surrounds us at all times. Our friends, family, and media are attempting to sway us one way or another, change our opinions, perceptions, decisions, and choices. Most of people around you do not have the clear and solid internally driven focus to prevent themselves from being tossed and turned by the waves of fads and trends. Like a ship in a stormy oceanthey are dragged by external forces having little hope of establishing their own course and reaching desirable destination.
You, on the other hand, now have one of the keys to hold your ground Continue reading